


Inter Somniatis

by Neera Silvertongue (Zesraer)



Series: The Heartbreaker Chronicles [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Heartbreakers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2015-04-06
Packaged: 2018-03-21 14:45:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3696242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zesraer/pseuds/Neera%20Silvertongue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This work is based on a role play written by my friends in college. We each write for a character working on a pirate ship during a modified Golden Age of Piracy. This particular story takes place shortly after my character joins the crew.  She is a bit of a broken bird, but does eventually grow to flourish among the Heartbreakers. Here is the start of her story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inter Somniatis

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the song "In All My Dreams I Drown", it is sung by Jessica Lowndes. I do highly recommend it though - I love it. I helped cofound the idea of the Heartbreakers, along with many of my college friends, but I only truly own the concept of Tessara Belacqua. 
> 
> \- Neera

_The ship, it swayed, heave ho, heave ho,_

_On the dark and stormy blue._

\- In All My Dreams I Drown, Jessica Lowndes

__

She thrashed awake screaming, again. Her throat raw, she must have been doing so for quite some time. She shivered, trying to assess where she was, how she had gotten into this dark place. Heartbeating frantically like a rabbit’s, she clutched for the dagger that she knew was beneath her pillow and listened for what was behind the shadowy door of the room. Her eyes darted wildly, and she tried to assess the situation. Besides the door there were no exits, not even a port hole. The room was fairly uncluttered but also fairly sparse, not much could be used as a weapon if anyone chose to force their way in. Slowly the shadows solidified into familiar shapes, this was her space, her room. She was safe, given a room by the Captain and crew of the Heartbreaker. Her own room, where none were permitted to enter without her permission, this ensured by a heavy silver lock and key on the door. Her breathing became a little less ragged as she calmed and began to listen to the noises of the ship.

__

Light murmurs came from the other side of the door, sounding almost concerned. They paused as soon as her screaming stopped and she heard footsteps outside her door. A light tapping came, followed by a voice.

__

“Alright in there Miss?” The First Mate’s voice was tinged with worry, and sounded a little weary. Tessara took a deep breath before responding, realizing that she had probably woken many with her night terrors. She waited a few more moments, hoping the her shaking would not be betrayed by her voice when she responded.

__

“Simply a night terror. Again. Nothing more Sir.” The was a pause, almost as if the First Mate wanted to say something else but thought better of it. There was a brief shuffling and Tessara heard the distinct sound of a hand releasing the handle of the door leading to her quarters. Not many ears would know it, thinking it just one of the background noise of the movement of the ship but she had learned it well. She let loose the breath she had subconsciously been holding, there would be no visitors tonight. She allowed a little relief to wash over her.

__

“Good night Miss. Try to get some sleep.” With that she heard the fading footsteps of the First Mate. She was again alone in the dark, with only the sounds of the sea to keep her company. To think that they could be such a relief on shore, create such a lulling peace but out here they sent her into fits of utter terror.

__

Still shaking slightly, she slid the dagger back beneath her pillow with a satisfying click as it reached home in its hidden sheath. She leaned back into her sleeping alcove, trying to relax enough to find sleep again. She pulled the cloak that she had taken to using as a blanket close trying to remember a time before the memories plagued her. The cloak was a reminder of that time, it would be better if it still had retained the scents of home but those had disappeared long ago against the greater scents of salt and sea. The memories that the cloak brought back had blurred with age and time, faces had long since faded from her mind. This very thought made her want to break into uncontrollable sobbing, the idea of all she had lost to… to those horrid men. But she had already woken the crew with her pain once tonight, no need to keep them up with her tears, no matter how much she wanted to wail like a banshee.

__

So she settled for quiet tears in her pain, letting the rocking of the ship and her tears lull her into a dreamless slumber. It took time, and she knew that within her trunk lie herbs to make the transition to sleep easier but she did not want to resort to them tonight, not when the dreams were so bad. The herbs only served to make dreams more vivid, it was the price to pay for a quick slumber. Gradually she drifted off, small murmurs and whimpers the only thing that hinted at the negativity of her dreams. There would be no more screams tonight, and hopefully no memory of the dreams tomorrow. Outside the world moved on, the sea constantly moving and shifting leading the Heartbreaker wherever it pleased.

 

_"You haven't slept," heave ho, (s)he said,_

_"In many suns and moons."_

_"Oh, I will sleep when we reach shore,"_

_"And pray we get there soon."_

\- In All My Dreams I Drown, Jessica Lowndes

_**** _

The gulls called overhead, the Heartbreaker had not traveled far enough from shore to discourage some of the more persistent members of the species. Tessara was perched on the starboard rail, looking out over the sea. She had not been plagued by dreams after falling asleep for the second time last night but had awoken to the morning sounds of the crew mulling about the ship. After extracting herself from a tangle of sheets and cloak, she had gotten herself ready and picked her current spot on the deck. She hadn’t moved since finding it hours ago, so lost in thought and memory. Which was why she nearly fell off her perch when the Captain addressed her. She had failed to hear the other woman’s footsteps as Renata approached, concerned for her distracted and sleepless Quartermistress.

_**** _

“You were screaming again in your sleep last night Miss Belacqua. I can’t have that, not only are the crew disturbed but I need my Quartermistress awake and alert as well. What troubles your sleep?” Renata placed a hand on her Quartermistress’ shoulder, hoping to get the young woman to open up. Since coming aboard the Heartbreaker as her Quartermistress, the Belacqua girl had not spoken up about her past, especially not the man from the tavern and his connection to her. It was very apparent that the man was a part of a past that Tessara did not wish to speak on but the Captain did wonder if this past would eventually come to threaten her and her crew. She preferred to know her enemies and to know what she was facing. Her quiet and withdrawn Quartermistress only served to solidify the idea that whoever the man in the tavern had been, he was a threat.

_**** _

“The sea Captain. It has been quite some time since I have sailed on a ship. I fear it brings back old memories, ones that I had buried long ago on land to save my own sanity. Now even the gentlest of waves brings those very memories roaring back and my sleeping mind cannot protect itself from those horrors.” Tessara stated, and after one last glance towards the great unknown that was the sea before her she turned her attention to her Captain. It still baffled her to think that the Captain had chosen her to be a Quartermistress on the Heartbreaker, she had had so little experience with such jobs in the past. Not since her father. She quickly changed her train of thought, for this would likely result in tears and the Captain would not have time for those.

_**** _

“The sea, of course. A fear of the sea and what it brings or what brought is perfectly natural. After all no man nor woman can predict the actions of the sea, and no living being can challenge her.” Renata gives a sad smile, again not getting the truth from her Quartermistress. “And yet Miss Belacqua, you gaze so longingly out towards sea instead of from where we have came. One would think that you would gaze towards land.”

_**** _

Tessara’s face flushes as she is caught in her lie. “Perhaps the land too has very little to offer me. I do not fear it but I have no place there. Like it or not the sea has been my only home for most of my life and perhaps on this journey I shall learn not to fear it as I do.” She again tried to dodge the actual question, but started to wonder what the Captain had divulged from her body language and behavior alone.

_**** _

Renata took in her words, and nodded. Under her breath she gave a sigh, again she was faced with half truths. Her Quartermistress was flighty and untrusting; Renata had no idea why Tessara was this way but had hoped that she would divulge some clue as to the behaviors. Apparently if that clue was coming, it would not be today. She decided more time was necessary, that the trust between the two of them needed to grow before Tessara would give anything away. She gives a smile, one that doesn’t quite erase the slight hurt at being lied to from her eyes. “Very well then, I will let you resume your activities. Just do not miss your watch Quartermistress.” With that she turns on her heel to go address the other affairs of the ship.

_**** _

As Renata walked away, she turned and yelled back over her shoulder. “Miss Belacqua, as entertaining as it is to talk to you, one of these days you eventually will tell me the entire truth. I await that day.”

_**** _

Tessara watches the Captain walk away, knowing that at some point she would have to confide her past in the other woman. She couldn’t let the ship and her crew sail into danger without knowing it. Perhaps joining a crew so soon had been a poor choice. The Captain was a lovely woman but she didn’t know if she could fully trust her yet. She just did not want to get hurt again, or worse get close and have to leave once more. Her heart still ached from leaving her foster father and his family in Saint Barthélemy, she couldn’t do that again.

_(S)he said, "Now hush love, here's your gown."_

_"There's the bed, lantern's down."_

_"But I don't want to go to sleep; in all my dreams, I drown."_

\- In All My Dreams I Drown, Jessica Lowndes

_**** _

Renata had just finished up her final check of the watches for the night and had handed control of the ship to her nocturnal First Mate, when she found a huddled figure before the door to her cabin. Upon closer inspection, it revealed itself to be a tired eyed Quartermistress.

_**** _

“Miss Belacqua, you should have retired to your bed hours ago. You need your rest, I need you up in time for first watch tomorrow morning.” Renata offers a hand to the woman, helping her to her feet. It was very apparent that tonight was another sleepless night.

_**** _

“I tried Captain, again I woke due to the dreams. I figured it was better for me to have a sleepless night than for the whole crew to suffer with me.” Tessara gave a sheepish smile, but Renata noticed the weariness in her eyes.

_**** _

“I can’t have you not sleeping. I need a crew who is alert and ready for anything. The sea can be an unpredictable mistress. Not only that but I am concerned for you, as is the rest of the crew. Your screams at night have hardly gone unnoticed. First Mate Naito almost burst into your room a few nights ago, as she thought someone may have broken into your room. Your prompt response was the only thing that stopped her, as well as her knowledge that you prefer your privacy. Come inside before you fall down.” Renata opens the door to her cabin and ushers her Quartermistress to a seat. She noticed Tessara’s instant rigidity as they entered the cabin. Tessara sat down, and tried to make herself look at ease but failed under the Captain’s knowing gaze.

_**** _

“Are you willing to explain your behavior now Miss Belacqua? You look ready to bolt at any moment. This is not the first time I have observed this behavior either, you seem rather anxious whenever you encounter a one on one situation with pretty much anyone on this crew. Your attitude has changed drastically since we first took you on, and I understand that you had imbibed a few pints of mead when we had met but this drastic switch cannot be explained by alcohol.”

_**** _

Tessara flinched at these observances, knowing that her past could not be hidden for much longer. The dreams had seen to that, ensuring that she couldn’t hid in secrecy for as long as she would like. “So you want the whole truth Captain? I can assure you it isn’t pleasant.”

_**** _

“The whole truth would be optimal.”

_**** _

Tessara sighed and eased herself further into the seat. She opens her mouth to start a few times, but stops. Her breathing shakes, and she takes on the look of a cornered and terrified deer. Finally she starts her tale.

“Before I resided in Saint Barthélemy, before I was even in the Caribbean, I lived in a small North European country called Avendale. My father taught me all I know of trade, and even though we were poor I had a good life. Until the pirates came. The captain of the Bloody Rose and his men invaded Avendale. Most of the citizens were able to take residence in the fortifications of the castle, however my family was not so lucky. We lived far up in the mountains, my father had us stay in our inn and pray that the marauders passed us by.” She takes a shaky breath.

_**** _

“My father left to defend our city that day, people were needed to drive the pirates away. The castle would not hold out forever. A messenger from the castle confirmed it, on his way to gather reinforcements from neighboring villages. So my father left us in the inn, hoping that he would not be gone long. It was the last I ever saw of him. A week later, my mother and I as well as all the guests harbored within our inn were found by the crew of the Bloody Rose. The resistance by the castle had fallen in a bloody genocide. The people within the castle walls were still under siege and a scouting party, lead by the Captain had come looking for supplies. My father had left sled tracks in the fresh snow of the mountainside in his efforts to help the defenders, and the pirates had simply followed those back to our sanctuary. My mother and a few of the men residing in the inn tried to resist. I watched them all die before my eyes. Soon everyone in the inn was dead except for one small sixteen year old girl, not big enough to do any real damage. Me.”

_**** _

Renata’s eyes widen, she had feared trauma in her Quartermistress’ past but had no idea what the young woman had gone through. As Tessara prepares to tell the next part of her tale, the Captain gives a slight shiver not liking the foreboding feeling that the worst was yet to come.

_**** _

“They made me rifle through the bodies of the deceased and clean the blood from any goods of value. Afterwards they had me load everything into a spare sleigh as they warmed up by the fire and ate the remaining food in the inn. As they got drunker they began to hassle me, but not to the point of impeding my duties. After all they wanted to leave the inn as soon as possible. I loaded the sleigh all night, through freezing winds which I knew were the precursor to a massive blizzard. The next day, they added me to their cargo. Loading me on to the sleigh with nary a cloak nor hide for warmth. Then they drove through the blizzard on the way back to their ship. I should have died, and sometimes I wish I had. The blizzard drove them from my home, but it could not save me. I don’t know what their original plan was, perhaps the slave trade. But once upon the ship, the Captain got lustful and I ended up staying on.” Tessara freezes up shivering, a blush of shame creeping across her features.

_**** _

“A sixteen year old girl could not defend herself against a full grown man. Especially a determined pirate.” Renata states in horror as the truth of the situation dawns.

_**** _

“No she couldn’t. And when the rest of the higher ranked crew joined in, she could do nothing but bide her time and wait. She learned what she could, eventually becoming a great pirate. One that was to be feared if you underestimated her. One that could occasionally dissuade lecherous men from making advances. And eventually she made her escape, escaping the abuse of what had seemed like countless years. She made her way to Saint Barthélemy, which allowed her to live in peace for two or so years. Until she found herself in a tavern with her old First Mate, who apparently was intent on bringing her back aboard the Bloody Rose. You know the rest.” Tessara was near weeping, overwhelmed with bad memories and experiences. Renata stood speechless not sure how to respond to the information disclosed to her. Eventually she regained her composure.

  
“I cannot help with your past.” She says after some time, breaking the harsh silence. “But I think I can help with the nightmares. You take the bed. I promise nothing will happen to you tonight.”

 

_"Captain! Captain!_

_I will do your chores_

_I will warm your cot at night_

_And mop your cabin floors_

_Scold me, hold me_

_I'll be yours to keep_

_The only thing I beg of you_

_Don't make me go to sleep"_

\- In All My Dreams I Drown, Jessica Lowndes

Tessara looks up, her face unreadable but no longer holding the sadness and fear it once had. “I cannot do that Captain, these are your quarters. I cannot leave you without a bed, it would be improper.”

Renata smirks and gives a wink. “Who said anything about being without a bed? I fully intend to have one my Quartermistress.”

Tessara’s face flushes a deep red as she realizes what is being implied. Her eyes widen and her expression takes on aspects of fear and surprise.

“I mean nothing improper by it, there is plenty of room for the both of us. I don’t see why we cannot share the bed. It also serves to give you perhaps a modicrim of comfort, not sleeping alone without a means of defense. Another pair of eyes should be better than a dagger beneath your pillow.”

“You know?”

“Not much goes without my notice on this ship Miss Belacqua. Yes I know about the dagger beneath your pillow. I surmise it is another precaution against unwanted visitors. Now to bed now, you need sleep.”

Tessara nods and unties her corset, quickly shedding her outer clothing leaving only a shift. Feeling the need to justify herself she gives the Captain a quick look. “I am not sleeping in a corset.”

Renata chuckles “Understandable.” She followed Tessara into the bed, making sure to give the young woman her space. After a few minutes, Renata was startled when her Quartermistress curled into her. She waits a few moments before wrapping her arms around Tessara’s form, surprised by this moment of trust. Renata listened as her breathing leveled off into sleep. Before long, Tessara begins to whimper in her sleep and Renata pulls her tighter, trying to reassure her sleeping Quartermistress that she was safe and protected. The girl relaxed in her arms and Renata felt her heart clench in pity. She stared into the dark, and murmured, “I swear to you on this night Miss Tessara Belacqua, the Captain and pirates of the Bloody Rose will pay for harming you. No one hurts my crew and gets away with it.”

Renata rose with the sun, and detangled herself from the sleeping Tessara. Miraculously they had both slept through the night. No night terrors, which was something that made the Captain quite happy. Perhaps Tessara would adjust to life aboard the Heartbreaker. The Captain dressed and headed out to be briefed by the First Mate on what had happened during the night.

Naito was waiting just outside her cabin, and peered through the door as Renata shut it. Upon seeing Tessara in the bed she raised an eyebrow. Renata shushed her First Mate and closed the door before heading further on to the deck. “We can speak here, I don’t want to wake our new Quartermistress. She needs the sleep.”

Naito nods to the cabin. “So she finally is sleeping? And slept through the entire night?” The First Mate alludes to something of a more risque nature than sleeping. The Captain shook her head. “Just sleep Naito. It is what she needs. She hasn’t slept well since she joined the crew, you know that. But I think we may be able to keep our Quartermistress.”

“You seem rather caring about this new Quartermistress. Is there something I should be aware of? I know you two flirted at first but I hadn’t thought it was serious. You have Aedan for that, please be careful with her Danchou.”

“I will be, as should you. Do not think I haven’t noticed your actions around her. You have never been this friendly with a member of our crew before. Normally I have to warn you to stop glaring and analyzing a new crew member’s every move. Yet for Miss Belacqua, you don’t micromanage her every move. You give her her space and allow her to make mistakes. In fact Naito, you almost moon at her sometimes. Should I be aware of something?”

Naito’s fur bristles slightly “Nothing is going on. I don’t want to scare her is all. One wrong move and she flees to the winds. Those nightmares are just the start of it, she speaks in her sleep too. I have heard some of the things that occur in her dreams. No person should suffer through that. I wish I could give her some comfort at night, wish I could take the dreams away. But I also fear going into her room will make it worse, will scare her more. So whatever you have to do, to get rid of those dreams please do it. You succeeded last night and I am happy to see we may keep our Quartermistress. I just hope we do not scare her off. That is why I do not scrutinize her, if she feels welcome she may stay.”

Renata gave Naito a knowing glance, and nods her head. “Of course your behavior is not to scare her. I was a fool to believe it was anything else. Care to brief me on last night?”

 **  
** As Naito told her about the events of the past few hours, Renata gave a small smile. Perhaps Miss Belacqua would fit in here and perhaps she could even help a certain First Mate get over some aspects of her past. Naito deserved to be happy as well and it had been a long time since she had even heard a hint of the tone Naito was currently using. Perhaps old wounds would heal for both her First Mate and Quartermistress in the Heartbreaker’s on coming travels.


End file.
